Monday, September 29, 2014
Sorry I've taken so long, and seem to recurrently take too long to blog on a regular basis. Procrastination is something I struggle with, so I figured, I might as well blog about that.
Part of it is a desire of wanting to maintain privacy, and not wanting to reveal too much. It is true that privacy is something that is undervalued in our society; particularly in the light of revelations of ubiquitous spying on the part of our governments and private companies. However, not revealing enough is also a dangerous game. Secrets can literally kill you. It allows you to be oppressed by fear; it's black magic that you're performing on yourself. Furthermore, I strive to live with integrity. That's hard to do if your constituent parts are literally separated. You're also robbing the universal "mind" of its own expansion through your experience, as imperfect and banal as it may seem to you from time to time.
Another issue with procrastination when it comes to me is perfectionism. I struggle with it a great deal sometimes, to the point that I simply do no action at all. Of course that makes the situation worse, which then makes it harder for me to launch into action. It's a vicious cycle, but I can't remain in it. There's no point. Never transmitting any ideas to reality sort of makes the ideas useless, doesn't it?
Just now I remembered my procrastination spell, which I had not used for a while. (It's pretty bad when you're procrastinating to use your procrastination spell.) I wrote it years ago, and now I realize why I probably hadn't used it. I addressed the perfectionism, and therefore the fear of falling short in the spell. But what I needed to address was the fear of self-disclosure. Yes, it is true that every single detail need not be shared and that there are consequences to sharing too much. But there are also consequences to not sharing enough. If you get accustomed to silencing the part of you that wants to express itself, at some point you won't be able to hear that voice anymore. And life becomes too insipid and two-dimensional. Screw that.
So with that; I am now writing again!